Hard time!!!!!😞😞😞😞😢😢😢😢

I can't pretend I am okay ..I can't fake it anymore..I'm hopeless and helpless and I am afraid that I ll never get ßetter
😔😔😔😔😓

😓😭😭😭😭

To have it broken and not been able to accept it is what brings immeasurable pain in one's life.To know that you are not going to get it back anyways and still hoping that someday everything will be back to normal is what breaks a person to an unimaginable extinct.

The disappointing part is ..The more you try to forget the pain the more it grows. The more you try to rebuild yourself the more you fall you apart. The more you try to bring yourself to the brightness the more you find yourself lost in darkness. And where this pain will take you ?..., where it will end ?....., what all it will make you do ?..., what all will it make you loose ?.... ..All these questions have no answers.


Still .. People around you will want you to forget everything and move on. Yes ! they will try to make you believe that this not the end. Yes ! For sometime you will try to have faith in the faith they have in you. Yes ! You will try to manage all the pain you are having. Yes ! You will try to see your life from a new angle. Yes ! You will try to smile and behave normal for them . 

But then again you have to confront yourself. You to face yourself . Sitting quietly you have to ask yourself a question ..are you Really okay ?
Are you really doing fine ? Or you are just faking yourself being normal for the people around you ? Faking yourself showing the world that you are strong enough to move on ? Faking yourself and smiling because you are scared to loose whatever you are left with ?
No I can't fake it ..I cry quietly at nights with my loudest pain and I want people to know  I am not doing fine . 
It's not that I don't want to be ...It's just that I'm not finding myself in the position where I can do anything for further betterment of myself.
I pretend I am okay because I don't want people to get fed up of me and leave me in this hopeless situation but the truth is I have become hopeless.
I wonder what people really think and say everything will be fine when they know that only factor because of what you use to stay fine is taken away from you. They know that you did nothing wrong and you are left being absolutely punished for doing nothing wrong. They know that you are being forced to accept the lame excuses given by someone who means world to you and you have to create you new world from ZERO ! 
How everything will be fine when I see no life in the life is I am living 

How can EVERYTHING will be fine ? How ..?

😞😞😞😞😢😢😢😢

It's said ..."Do good to have good" ..Buy I have lost faith in this saying too .. it's now .. "Do good to have the worst".
What kind of pain is this where a person has no idea what has to be done next. When a person runs away from almost everything and still finds that nothing has moved on in life. Still the same pain is there to preak you out , break you again in tears and nothing else can be done ! I can't pretend that I am doing okay because now I'm left with nothing but pain which keeps on telling me that it's not replaceable.
How a person will again believe in doing something good for someone with all the heart when the result of doing so is another heartbreak .. Another heartache ..!
Yes ! I am afraid that I'll ever get ßetter !

-$um@n

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